lights.

as i said before, i don't know what i'll be doing. to cut the long story short, last night when I was away at wangsa maju playing dota, i snapped and decided to abandon my friend and left the cc. and went for a walk around kl before heading home at 8.

my honest advice for any of the readers, if you want to rob a lonely person wandering in the middle of night, please at least bring a fucking knife or bring your buddies too. else u might pick up the wrong guy to rob.

well at least i got to rob that guy. oh if you guys think i'm fucked up for counter-robbing someone else, feel free to think like that. it's not like that fella have a hundred bucks inside his wallet, and maybe that 40 bucks was from robbing other poor dudes out there. and consider it as a medicine fee. it's not like he just drop dead there and i picked up his wallet, no. i throw some punches and kicks and get some kicks and punches, or maybe some slaps as well.

i call this self defense. he slap me first because i was rude in answering him. i mean, dia tanya aku mane wallet, aku tanya penting ke? dia cakap dia nak duit aku tanya apesal, kalau kau nak sangat cuba kau jawab. i was going to give him anyway to be honest. but that bitch bitchslapped me, and you can't do that to an emotionally unstable dude.

if i was sober, maybe i'll give him all my belongings. but i don't realise when did i pounced on him and punched him like punching a punching bag. after he stopped moving i took his wallet and take out all of his money. well at least i left his iphone, and his ic, his driving license.

well maybe he's drunk. but fuck it, i'm pissed. thank you for punching, kicking and slapping me. at least i can let go some of my steam.

went home at 10am. at least i went back home. got lectured until 12pm. lucky my parents don't know what happened. well it's not like they'll understand what happened tho. if i can't go out anymore i don't mind really, it's my fault, but at least i know, that they don't know what is happening to me. and i know just how much their expectation on me. to fucking be a leader and all that stuff. no. it's not for me. it's for my brother. i hate it when you just go around and pass throw that fucking baton to me. i know how clueless they are when handling me, and how much they're desperate to stop me from doing this kind of shits. but yeah, i wont do this again, i know. but you know, you can't stop things by forcing them to stop. they don't even know why i'm doing this, how they're gonna stop me doing this again?

"hari yang paling meremokkan hati mama" ni bukanlah hari aizat pegi rogol anak dara orang, pergi rempit, pergi rompak bank mama. hari aizat pergi keluaq rumah sorang-sorang dan balik rumah. hari paling meremokkan hati mama? then aizat mintak maaf banyak-banyak.

aizat tau aizat bukan anak mama yang baik. aizat takleh ganti tempat abang. biaq la abang lead this family, he still my older brother, the eldest male son. not me. i don't want any of this. i just want to live a normal, quiet life with a decent job and that's about it. i don't want to inherit this or that, i just want to, live happily.

yes, i know, it wont happen.

"Lights…

On who you must find,

I’ll remember you

Pride…

You’ve lost this fight,

This soulless revolution in my head

You’ve witnessed all

It’s only evolution, I forgot

Lights…

On what we’ve done,

I’ll remember you

Lights…

On those who tried,

I’ll remember to remember

Alive...

I’m alive,

Love is who you are

.. ..

So cry if you wanted to cry tonight,

Your souls are losing hours

So cry if you wanted to cry,

Surprised that you’ve wasted your life"