09 August, 2009

here i go again.

huh. what am i doing here. i dunno. i just felt like writing. maybe because of the hyperness, smgt sgt. lol. anyway maybe its just another insomniac night. eventho im tired.

physically, mentally, emotionally.

i did. i mean i always did. i planned. planned my life. since the day. that day. eventho im still at a very very young age, i accepted that, maybe parents know best for their children. at least in their social life. who is their son/daughter friends, lover, and stuff.

so i did, felt that i shud stick on what i planned earlier. i planned a simple life. get a job. then get married. i dont care who is my wife. i just feel that whoever she is, if she gets my moms approval, there. done deal. live a happy life. have 2 children. grow them up well. maybe spoil them a lil bit, maybe. then work, work. do spend sometimes at home. and then go holiday.

and stuff. i don't know, maybe its naive. it is naive. but i do hope, my life would be that simple. i dont want to be supa rich. dont want to be supa famous. just a normal, random person.

but, im just planning. fate know how to make life interesting. theres always something more to life. if theres an expectation, there will be dissapointment. if theres failure, there will be effort, hope. if there is hope, there is tmrw.

maybe i live for tmrw. i want to see what's tmrw looks like. i really want to know. but somehow, i just cant leave behind the memories, those lessons ive learned earlier. my friends, my stuff, things i love, ppl that i loveD. a lot. friends that i care. but those feelings earlier, when the best of us is spending times together, will not ever be duplicated. ppl changed. yes they are.

and i hate changes. but ppl will change.

"Ada sesuatu yang xpernah berubah di muka bumi ini, iaitu perubahan."

what mr Wan Ali said to me.
for me, that is just an excuse. ppl do want to change, at least to be a better person. always. and they always influenced. by friends, by surroundings. by the ppl around him. or maybe by lesson learned. at least they changed the way they think.

i dunwana grow up. this sucks. i want to live a naive childish life. never really worried about what happened to the world. just wanna have fun. i want to be with all my friends. xkisah dari mana2. as long as we spend time together, tu dh cukup.

this post really tell how i hate being close to 20.

dulu when i was 15 i think, i thought about how life at 5. now when im nearing 20, i ought to think about my life when i was 5, 15.

i dun wanna grow up. dun wanna change. dun wanna move on. i hate knowing that each day ppl will seperate. bit by bit.

and then comes reunion. the only way to overcome that feeling. :)

if, kalau-lah boleh, nak je buat tiap2 minggu.
pegi sane sini. buat bende gile2. tgkp gamba2. i always want to talk bout those things.

urgh. crap. im craping rite now. @.@

****

i.. fell asleep orz

3 comments:

ilif said...

I like reading your blog coz it expresses the same thing I'm feeling. im no good in using words so yeah u_u

>: xnk jd grown up ;__; seriously xnk. im not ready >X

faiz abu bakar said...

Muhammad Faiz Abu Bakar like this.

grown up with so many responsibilities to do, then you got saket kpale, haiyoh... next year, we will be 20, no ___teen(15teen, 16teen) in ur age.

gudluck in this last -teen age

xxm3xx said...

welcome to the -adult- life o/

and

I miss my childhood and school days too DX if there is a function to turn back time, it would have been abused and barricaded with law lol.