15 June, 2011

and life is not going to end just like that

i can't stand waiting. i get bored of waiting easily. i don't wait people for 2-3 hours. no i don't.

but today, i gladly do that, just like i did wait for 7 grueling hours about 6 years ago.

went to hospital again. it's kinda funny because i keep juggling between hospitals and it seems it shared one common, at least for me; i fucking hate hospital. really, i praised for everyone that worked at hospital, for their sheer determination of gaining money through helping people and at the same time enduring the bleak sad and melancholic atmosphere.

aku tabik spring. seriyes.

every hospital i went, no matter how helpful their staff was, how handsome and funny their doctors was, and no matter how beautiful the nurses, it was depressing. i was very, very, very, very, glad i din take medic, or i'll be in a worse condition then i am right now.

okay back to the story, i went to ppum at petaling jaya, because my dad is going to have a "aspiration" is what they suggested to use to named the procedure, it is less gruesome. it is commonly known as bone marrow biopsy.

now i don't have any bio knowledge, for which i really hate that subject, so i don't really know the terms and whatsofuckingever, but i know one thing for sure.

this is one hell of a procedure to went thru.

the pain can lasted for a week. for me, it was really cruel to be honest, but well it's not like they have another painless option.

so there i was, waiting, and waiting agonizingly and surprisingly today there were little to none. but still, the procedure of doing it from checking the blood etc till the result came out take around 6 hours.

going thru this again, really makes me think, i was half way giving up my life back in 05, and again in 10, but well,

life is not going to end just like that.

i'm enduring the pain of seeing the person i love suffering, again, waiting there like a statue, not knowing any words to comfort, i was really, really clueless on how to help them, i felt like i'm utterly useless, what i thought i can fixed myself after 6 years, i still can't do it.

ah, the agony.

on the way back to home i drive the alfa romeo brera spider, and, no matter how awesome the car was, i still don't feel any excitement at all.


i just have to be strong, and just gather all my strength to go thru this, again.

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