24 June, 2012

i, end

i  just can't do it.

things are just getting worst for me.

i'm frustrated with myself on how i'm handling my own problems.

i should've done better.

it could've been better.

eventhough i said i'm giving up i can't.

eventhough i tried to make light of my problem, i can't.

i can't help but feeling depressed.

i even don't remember the last time i slept,

i can't remember the last time i dreamt peacefully,

i just want all of this to end

anything will do


i'd do anything.

i'd rather die, or i'd rather to not remember anything,

or whatever

getting punched, or slapped, or stabbed just so that i can think of the pain, rather than the void,

i just wanted to run, i'm tired of going through all of these

i hate this,

i don't want to face this anymore, i'm sick of it,

i'm sick of everything

i'm sick of my face, i'm sick of me, i hate myself

but i know.

i don't have anywhere to go

i don't have anywhere to run

i don't have any energy left

i can't face anyone,

i can't pretend anymore

i don't have anything left

i'm not the same guy i used to be

i'm that piece of shit that i hate

while reading these papers,

i can't think of anything at all now.

let's end this.