a mockery towards myself

idk anymore. I'm getting sick of this. I am depressed.

Can I just like, ran and cross the highway and getting hit by a car, I'll be happy if I'm dead, but I'd be a lot happier if I just, forget everything I went through, forget all the memories. maybe.

God. Oh God. Please. I'm hoping I can be stronger. I felt so useless every time I sujud, and hoping, praying that I'd be stronger, even just a little.

I don't want to give in, I know I'm still strong. I know this is just me, being sissy and stuff. I know I'm over reacting yada yada yada, I know that people have their own problems. Obviously.

I need to be strong, there's no other option.

Maybe I'm just getting sick of being strong.

Be happy. Try, to be happy. Must be happy.

I know I will. I know I'm strong.



lololol.