-- icu

..or Intensive Care Unit if I'm not mistaken, is a section, more like a ward, that provided intensive and continues care on a patient, who are critically ill, and full with monitory devices, wires, nurses, doctors.

I've been there twice on a different occasion, many times for one occasion, of course not as a patient, but as a visitor. And I tell you, it sucks. All you can hear is the beeping sound of the monitory devices, and the sight, was terrible. From all sorts of patient you can see from there. Hit and run victims, accident victims, and of course, surgery patients.

Well I remember, the day I went there. This painfully quiet surrounding combine with the reeks of hospitals.. it's just, sick.

Before entering the ICU, theres some procedure you must follow, wash hands, you must pass through several doors, and it is always well guarded. Strict I must say, I always get into trouble, trying to sneak something. I just.. can't wait to give those people something. Nak tunggu masuk ward, it'll take like weeks. I'm just, impatient.

Entering the ward, after some tough procedures, the first thing I always do is, lurking for the bed. I, have problems finding patients. It's very sucks imo, because I always thought I'm pretty good in finding something, but this has always been my number 1 problem. Bila dah jumpa tu, kena tengok whether the doc is there or not, sometimes the patient doesn't have any strength to do things on their own, wear clothes etc, and sometimes the doc + nurses want to record anything, idc myself whats the detail. Anyways, it usually take times, and I, really, can't stand waiting.

Here is where I lurk at other people's punya bed. Obviously, they don't look happy. Sad, pain, the struggle to live, it's almost a telepathic understanding when we saw their face. Tapi berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul, kan?

And then, the curtain opens up, the doctors was beside the bed, writing something, and, I saw her. She was lying on the bed, she didn't notice me at first, but as I make my way to her bed, she kinda, saw me, and then, the last thing you'd want to believe, is she raise her hand, open the oxygen mask, and then .. "Super slow!"

All eyes are on her. The patients, the doctors, and the nurses are on her. Doc sebelah dia dah gelebah, and then start to lecture her. Idiot. She chatted a bit (more like menjawab) dekat doctor and then she opened again her mask,

"Pakai balik,"
"Tak nak lah,"
"Doktor marah kang,"
"Tak lah, dah mintak izin,"
"Tadi tu?"
"Padan muka, siapa suruh datang lambat?" Wth, do you know there's a visiting hour here in ICU? Plus, it's an ICU for gawd sake! Dah datang pun patut bersyukur lahh.
"Padan muka siapa? Siapa yang kena marah tadi?"
"Er..tapiii" Seraya aku mencubit hidung. Geram. Banyak betul alasan. Macam lah kita taknak jumpa dia. Dia membalas, dengan menjelir lidah. Ah, mengada.

We chatted, chat chat chat like we'll never speak again. I can't even stop myself, but she was the one that listen a lot. She smiles, but it was a weak smile. She tried herself nak smile, it seems like that. Ah, her face, full with tubes, wires. She really looks tired. I guess, I should go, she should've rest now.

And my hand was grabbed by a cold hand, it was very weak, dia tengok, sambil menggelengkan kepala. Muka yang tadi berseri, ah, I couldn't see her like this. But I.. don't know what to do. She need to rest, but then.. I just, stare at her face, and she stared at me back, with her teary eyes. I, couldn't see her face like that at all! Let alone leave it just like that. So I took my Nokia 3200 and then I messaged them, to tell I'll be taking this whole visiting hours. And then the reply come in as fast as I send them, a simple "t8 ur time" was enough for me to sit, and then, she smiles, again.

This scary ward, was somehow, I felt really, calmed here. And I think, I knew why.